B: Dear Teresa, I’m afraid that my boyfriend is a crosssdresser. He’s been dressing up in my lingerie while I’m at work, I caught him watching the shopping channel for The Ahh Bra, and he's been on your website every night now. What can I do?
: OK, there’s no reason to panic. What you want to do is show him just how hard it is to be a girl. Shaving, waxing, putting on stockings, doing his makeup, walking in very high heels, wearing dresses, blouses, and skirts, all the things that real women have to go through every, single day.
B: Interesting. I’ll bet he has no idea how much work it takes to look pretty for guys.
: Exactly. First make him shave all his body hair. His legs, arms, chest and back, and help him trim those eyebrows. Does he have long enough hair to style or will he need a wig?
B: He has long, blonde, hair that he keeps in a ponytail.
: Perfect. Once he’s completely shaved, give him a pair of silky panties and a very feminine nightgown, maybe a babydoll. See if you can curl his hair into a cute style. Then start on his makeup. You'll want to spend a long time on this, explaining each step and showing him just how it has to be done. Don’t be afraid to go overboard with false eyelashes, heavy eye shadow, and the brightest, red lipstick you can find.
Next, its time for nail polish, and don’t use the quick drying stuff either. He has to learn that this is not going to be easy.
While his nails are drying you can pick out an outfit for him to wear. A bra or corset, something to fill the cups and give him the look and feel of breasts, and stockings with or without a garter belt. Now is also a good time to have him start speaking in a feminine voice. Give him a girl’s name, something cute like “Candy” or “Precious.”
Now you can decide if he should wear a blouse and skirt or a dress. Whichever you choose it should be very tight and revealing. How does this sound so far?
B: It sounds like a lot of work Teresa.
: Bear with me, it is a lot of work but it will pay off.
Once he’s dressed have him put on the highest pair of heels you have that will fit him, and make him walk around for a while. Call him by his new name and make sure he’s acting like a lady in every way.
The next step may not seem important but it is. Add some simple accessories like a scarf, bracelets and a necklace, and a generous spritz of perfume. Make him FEEL it!
Once he’s completely feminized, you’ll want to tie him up. I like to use an old pair of pantyhose but clothesline or handcuffs are also good. Tie his arms behind his back, and leave his legs free for easy access to your strap-on.
The next part depends on your mood. If you’re angry you can begin with a spanking. Do NOT use your hand! Try a hairbrush if you don’t have a small whip or flogger yet.
B: Wait a minute, a spanking? A flogger? Is this really supposed to cure him?
: Cure him? I thought you wanted to play with him! No, this won’t cure him at all, but I’ll bet you get a fantastic Christmas present. And if not, you’ll have a new girlfriend that worships you. What do you think?
B: I think its insane!
: You know they said that about the Wright brothers at first?
Are you still there?
Can you hear me now?
(what a bitch!)
B: Did you say something Teresa, I had to get a drink?
: I said Merry Christmas, and good luck with everything.
B: Thanks, Merry Christmas to you too!
* Not to be confused with “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values” which is the same but different.